Nokia 5700

I luv the Nokia 5700 advertisement. It's so funky and upbeat-y. Love the afro guy esp.

Hey, ho.......Na na na na na na....

Wacko Jacko is coming to Brunei??

Apparently no...
HRH Prince Azim is gonna celebrate his 25th Birthday party in England with stars that you and I can only dream of. Check this out...
It's outrageous!

Tomorrow is a HOLIDAY!!!!!!!!!!

H-O-L-I-D-A-Y
H-O-L-I-D-A-Y
H-O-L-I-D-A-Y
H-O-L-I-D-A-Y

Pics

I tot they look superrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr cute...!!!

The female kinda remind me of Katherine McPhee.
I can totally imagine what kind of conversation they would usually have.
Dude: You're cute.
KM: You're cute too.
Dude: You're pretty.
KM: You're handsome.
*blushes*

Can't believe I'm gonna say this but there's actually one decent looking girl in the royal family. Well there's the second wife but hey, she's a original Malaysian.

BRUNEI YAKIN MALAYSIA BOLEH! Abuden.....unless my future lau kung is yellow-ic-an lar..

*Edit: Now then I remember the oh-so-pretty-but-taken-by-the-crown-prince-and-even-gave-birth-to-a-baby Sarah. Ya..there are 2 decent girls in the royal family.

Miss Universe 2007

OH MY FREAKING GOD.

Miss Japan won..Wow, an Asian won. Should I be proud coz I'm an Asian? I kinda thought that Miss Korea is prettier than Miss Japan. Japan has that sort of 'i'm a bitch' face.

Anyways, the spotlight will definitely has to be on Miss USA.
OMFG..!!! She fell FLAT on her puny ass in front of millions of audiences.
When she fell down, I also feel paiseh for her ah.....But she quickly stood up and struck a pose.

After Miss USA fell down, it's so clear that the rest behind her were walking pretty carefully so they dun end up like Miss USA herself. Obviously, that's what got Miss USA into the top 5. That's when all the drama starts. Hehe..drama me likey..

Few moments after the top 5 was announced, most prolly the Mexican audience started booing. I bet they're thinking "wahlan, this USA palanting oredi still can go into top 5. Nabeh..!!!".
Everytime Miss USA appear, the audience would boo. I reli have to give it up to her bcoz she can still be smiling and answer her question pretty well too.

One thing, why 4 of the finalists answer in their mother language one orh?? This is Miss Universe leh...si-pik yingrish mah....

When Miss Japan was standing next to Miss Brazil, it looks like someone put Paris Hilton and Pamela Anderson standing together. Miss Japan soooo FLAT arh.....She needs a boob job like ASAP.

Seeing all this girls in bikini..wahseh..even I also almost nosebleed ar. Sexay..!

Overall, this would be the most interesting Miss Universe I've seen.

*Edit: It seems like Miss USA was only stopped being boo-ed after she si-pik a lil Spanish. What kind of sick audience are those? Jebus.
Still, kudos to Miss USA.

Disgusting

This is one reason why I'll prolly never step into China.

My new tooth

I think I'm growing a new tooth. It's just at the very end of my row of lower teeth. I can touch its surface. And my gum hurts wealy wealy bad. Super tiny....I wonder izzit what they called the wisdom tooth? So I'll be wise(r) soon eh??
Obviously not..if I had to ask that question.

My first day of driving to work (-.-)

"Can you not drive so fast?"
"Remember your signal ah.."
"Look around to see got cars coming or not."
"Keep the car straight."
"Slow down when turning a corner."

Those are the exact lines that my mum nagged me with dis morning.
I pictured my post title as 'My first day of driving to work!!!!!' but instead it turned out to be like the one on top.

Ta pian..! I loathe it when someone is sitting beside me in the car saying the above lines. I get nervous when that someone starts to shout at me and make a BIG deal out of my small lil mistake. Can you just shut up?????? When I drive alone, I do just fine thank you. No accident, no nothing. I arrive and leave my destination safely. In one piece.

"You must take this lane. You must take that lane."
I'll take whichever lane I want. Just because you always drive using that lane doesn't mean that I have to. OK???? MING PEK BO???????

I feel like bashing someone up rite now. ROAR...!!!!!( in a possessed emily rose kinda voice)

Congrats..whoever you are

Holy shmoly !!
Yellow-ic-ans' sister is gonna get married. On the 10th of June.
Have no idea what the guy looks like yet. (Pardon the red-ic-ans. We owez have the second hand news)

A guy walk into Comosi asking if we wanna buy a banner.

"Kamu mau bali banner?"
"Untuk apa?"
"Anaknya kan kahwin"
"Oh..."

It cost us 30 bucks. I thought it was supposed to be free. That's like forcing the owners to buy ba..
If you dun buy then they say "oh..you dun respect country head ah...your shop tomoro sure close down ar.."
So you have to buy it.....Res-pek ah!

The banner better be good-looking.

*Update: I saw the banner liau. Ermmm.....Good-looking lar. Both the jantan and betina. I thought he might look a bit ngong like 'His Royal Highness the Malik' but the jantan is much better.

They kahwin, do I get a day off? Just askin..

What do I value?

Your Values Profile

Loyalty: You value loyalty a fair amount. You're loyal to your friends... to a point. But if they cross you, you will reconsider your loyalties. Staying true to others is important to you, but you also stay true to yourself. Honesty: You don't really value honesty. You do value getting your way, no matter what. And if a little lying is required to do that, no problem. A few white lies never hurt anyone (at least, that's what you tell yourself!) Generosity: You value generosity a fair amount. You are all about giving, as long as there's some give and take. Supportive and kind, you don't mind helping out a friend in need. But you know when you've given too much. You have no problem saying "no"! Humility: You value humility a fair amount. You tend to be an easy going, humble person. But occasionally your ego takes over. You have a slight competitive streak - and the need to be the best. Tolerance: You value tolerance highly. Not only do you enjoy the company of those very different from you... You do all that you can to seek it out interesting and unique friends. You think there are many truths in life, and you're open to many of them.

The Five Factor Values Test

Kinda true for all except the loyalty part. Sometimes, I'm not being true to myself.

Siau cha bo

Recently, I put my MSN nick as siau cha bo.
And just now I signed into MSN Today and realised this.
It greeted me, " Good morning, siau cha bo."

And whenever I go online, it'll be

" siau cha bo has just signed in."

Which Lesley? Oh..the fat one.

Among my frens and acquaintances, there's a girl named Lieslie. But no one gives a shit how the name is spelt. She is very slim lar. Occasionally, if there's a party both of us would be present. I dun talk to her and she dun talk to me. Not that I have anything against her but we just dun talk one lar, not frens.
The thing I hate is whenever this happens.

A: Have you seen Lesley?
B: Which Lesley oh..?
A: Urm..the fat one lar!

-.-"

French..France?

French words that I learned few days ago. Thanks to Chuan Ching..

pourquoi(pu-kua) - why
j'aime beaucoup(jem boo-koo) - i like

I noe what everyone might think of once they heard the pu-kua word. Sound so salah when used in Brunei. It's just so stereotypical.

Do you know 'possible' is a french word? But it's pronounced as 'po-sibbbbb' in France.
Well, guess what? We all learned something new everyday, rite? *nods super fast*

Why you still ask le??

AnntheWaterPig tried to act like she was climbing an invisible wall.

Ann: Jie, does it look like I'm climbing a wall?
Me: No*with a totally unamused face*...(sorry Ann but no sorry. I just love to give it to you in your face)
Ann: Ya meh? I think look A LOT like it lor...
Me: If you are so dead on that answer, then why you still ask me leh..???
Ann: *arm chio*

Then few moments later, Superman returned home from work. He asked me to drive the small car alone!! *squeals and giggles*
He wanted to see my driving skills. Hah!
So I took AnntheWaterPig with me. Go for one round and back.
Then I ask her what she thinks of my driving.

Me: What do you think, Ann?
Ann: A bit shaky lar..
Me: Ya meh? I think OK lor..
Ann: To me, it felt a bit unstable.
Me: OK lar..pretty good war.
Ann: If you think u're good, then why you still ask me leh..??
Me: -.-

I wonder why I didn't inherit Superman's flying abilities. If I did then I can fly to go yum cha with my frens everyday.

This is for...

Slesha. Thanks for your advice and comforting words yesterday. I needed it bad. Thanks a lot and I appreciate it very much. You're also one helluva lady. U're a role model for me. Love ya girl..

Libra Boy. Yes, you boy. I know you want to see your name in my blog one..Haha. I'll bring you out for lunch once I get the car. Maybe next week(for the millionth time).

Toodles !!!

Sibeh kaling...

I so benci those kalings who stare at you from head to toe whenever you walk past them. Have some manners people...It's reli uncomfortable and irritating.

In a totally unrelated matter, do we need 4 Indian channels on Astro? Does anyone watch them?

To any Indian readers out there, U guys may have the same skin colour but I'm sure you're more educated than these kalings to know I'm not refering to you.

I think I'm running out of things to blog liau...
Nope...I still have lots to blog about. Just waiting for the right mood to do it....

Am I a good teacher?

AnntheWaterPig: Definitely NO !

I tried teaching Ann Principles of Account. That girl has the nerve to ask me to teach her ( read: Actually I offer to help her with her revision) one day before the exam.
Man...her knowledge of POA is as shallow as a kiddy's pool. I reli dun noe how she's gonna pass her O level next year. All she does is drawing, dancing and sms-ing. Can somebody beat some sense into her?

I looked thru the textbook and realised that I've forgotten almost everything. Still, I explained to her what I can remember.

"This shud be in the debit side coz bla bla bla..."
" Wait, I tot this is in the credit side coz bla bla bla..."
" Reli?"
" Ya...I noe this part. Aiya..u noe or not one oh.? Better I revise by myself."

She then added this in the end, " Ask for the wrong help oredi."

Me: Wat oh?? I was just trying to help you since you said you dun understand ma...now u bla bla.....*bo bin*

So embarrassing till can die...

Boys dunno how to aim properly

What's up with boys who can't aim straight? They love to leave puddles of their body fluids on the seat itself, on the floor and on the toilet seat cover. Just never into the actual hole for peeing.

It irks me off totally. When we girls confront them, they'll make a "What's the big deal?" face.
What's the big deal???????????????????????

1) The toilet doesn't belong to u. Others need to use it as well. Show some respect. If ur pee is on the toilet seat, use a tissue and wipe them off..!!!!!! Is it so difficult?? *Sonafabitch*

2) It's not my job to wipe ur pee off the toilet seat. NOT MT JOB!!!!!

3) How do you like to step in my pee, huh?? U like the sticky feel? U like the smell on ur foot?

Ugh!!
Feel like yanking off their willies and chopping it to tiny million pieces and feed it to the red ants.
Assholes....

Pete Sampras is back babey...

Yes, that's right. He's back and he's gonna play against Roger Federer in KL on the Nov 22 this year.
He's 35 and Federer is 25. As owez, my money's on Federer. Haha...Not that I'm a tennis fan or what. I owez mis-pronounce Pete's name as Pam-pras instead of Sam-pras. *paiseh*

Many tennis stars retire because they just cannot catch up with up and rising younger stars. They might have been real big and popular few years back but now they're just not fit enuf. Retirement is just an excuse b4 anyone realise that they are just getting worse.

Eg: Andre Agassi. If not mistaken, he couldn't even win his last match.
And of course Pete Sampras. Lost to Federer in 2001. What makes you think that he might win this time? Unless of coz if Federer is so unlucky to have sprain both his ankles, bird poo-ing on his head, forgets to bring his bag of expensive tennis rackets and a female streaker harassing him then i'll just zipped up.

HSM

Ahh..what about High School Musical now?

HSM is a show on a bunch of teenagers singing and dancing around. They can even sing in the cafeteria. Ridiculous..!! I kinda thought that movie was a drag. Sekejap want, sekejap dun want. Want, dun want, want, dun want. If you want, just go for it lar..Very difficult meh????

Okay fine, HSM was a huge success. Not long after, we were bombarded by these little starlets releasing their own debut album. Haiya...everyone in Hollywood wants an album to their name. They all want to be singers because they think they can sing.

All artists are the same one lar..When kena interview by reporters, they'll say " I'm an actor/actress but singing is my passion(WTF??). I've always wanted to try singing and now I'm very blessed to have this oppu-tu-ni-ti bloody bloody bla..."

I seriously suspect that HSM is just a stepping stone for these people to release their albums. Just because they are better than William Hung doesn't make them Christina Aguilera.

First, it was Vanessa then it was Ashley and now Cordin( i think that's the name la). None of them made a great impact. They're fine but not superb. Just hanging in the middle.

AND as if the producers felt that they haven't torture us enuf with HSM 1, they're goin to release HSM 2!!!!

^%%$%@&

At this point, even golf and fishing gets my adrenaline pumping...

Death Note..*ooo..i'm so scared*

My bro, FatPig bought a so-called replica of the oh-so-famous Death Note book in Soon Lee for 18 bucks. Can you believe it?? So typical of a 13 yr old boy.

It could have been put to better use like feed one of the millions and millions of starving African kids for a WHOLE month.

Or donate it to the center for the cacat akal-s.

Or give it back to me so I can bet on 4D. With 18 bucks, I can buy 24 4-digit numbers. And I'll have a 24/10000 chance of winning at least 60 bucks.

Anyways, FatPig was thinking of whose name put in there first. So I suggest putting their PE teacher's name. Mak Soon Kong. Everyone in CHMS hates him. Haha...
And FatPig didn't dare to write his own name in it. Afraid that he'll get a heart attack in the next 40 seconds. However, by judging the amount of food that he takes in per day, I'd say he'll have a heart attack in the next 40 yrs. *rolls eyes*

FatPig told me that his fren, Shim XY bought the same Death Note book and was afraid to write his name too. However, like any other kids who wants to let others know the book belongs to him, he wrote this on the first page of the notebook.

'This book belongs to: Shim XY"

HP = Harry Potter ?

I was searching for Hewlett Packard's official website so I typed " HP official website" in the Google search engine.

This appeared in one of the results.

Harry Potter- Official Site

-.-"

There's such thing as a male connector??

OMIGOD.......

This question is reli making me sound like a bimbo...
Are there no other better words to describe the opposite ends of computer cables???
Why must use male and female?? It's supposedly used to describe living human beings only...Using it on cables just sound soooooooooooooooo wrong lar.

If that's the case, then the dyke was correct the other day. She/he is rite?? I'm wrong??

How can??
Aiya.... *smacks forehead*

Tai tai karaoke night

I had dinner at the Seaview Hotel last night. Noticed that there were quite a number of well-dressed tai tais going into the karaoke room. Soon the melody of old Teresa Teng songs and some other old old old Chinese songs filled the air. Pretty irritating too. Disturb me enjoy my steamboat.

Can't help but wonder if every Thursday is a night where all these tai tais escape from their husbands. A small get-together so they can talk about their husbands and children. It's so typical of women to talk about people.
When we're young, we talk about boyfriends, shopping, money and studies.
When we grow older, we talk about husband, money, career, children and basically family la.
As we grow even older, we talk about grandchildren, husband and the good old days.

I wonder if I will be like that in the near 30-50 yrs??
My girlfrens and I will prolly be singing to Nelly's 'Maneater'or Britney's 'I'm a slave for U'.

"Wah..dis bunch of Ah Ma-s still noe how to shake their bootay."

o.O

I'm trying to

look busy by typing something and writing in my notebook. I'm just writing crap anyways. If the boss is not here, I might play Solitaire. Which is what I did yesterday for the whole afternoon. Playing Solitaire and chatting. And I get paid 700 bucks for it. Lucky me.........................

Vagina-ache

This is a conversation I had with AnntheWaterPig yesterday afternoon.

Ann: Jie, I had the worst menstrual cramp in school today.
Ann: The muscles keep on pulling and pulling until I couldn't walk properly.
Me: Are you sure it's ur menstrual cramp? Maybe it's your asshole that's cramping up
ba...
Ann: No....It's in front ba.
Ann: So paiseh agn u noe. My frens ask me what's wrong but I just say stomachache.
Me: What stomachache orh??? Say vagina-ache mah....
Both: LOL
Ann: My fren offered me Panadol.
Me: What for offer u Panadol pill? So u can stuff it up your vagina?
Both: LOL agn....

Machi Machi wor....

This is the term AnntheWaterPig and I use to describe guys with all look and no substance. They are not the usual good looking guys but they are quite muscular as well. They kiss their biceps before going to bed every nite. Their fav line is
" Chicks dig my abs man..!"
Yup..and because their vocabulary is so limited, they refer to us ladies, women and girls as chicks.
How did that term come about? Well, maybe most Chinese know about this very famous hiphop/RnB band in Taiwan named yes, Machi. The band is made up of what..7/8 people? And the ones doing the real singing is only the band leader. The rest just dance around and show off their 'abs' while trying to create more hype during concerts. However, there's one member who i think is the epitome of all Machi Machi wor-ness.



The guy which I circled his face. He needs to take off his shirt during every concert. Like seriously..?? WTH?
Look at his face. The phrase 'I'm Stupid' is written all over his face. Let me tell you, only clever people can see that. Can you see it? I noe I did.

Edit: Regardless of what I said about that member, I still like some of Machi's songs. They're pretty good as well.

Hip Hip Hooray!!

Why am I so happy, u ask?
Well, i just found out that even Karolina Kurkova has cellulite. Wahahaha..!!
Yes, the one and only Karolina kurkova who strutted down the Victoria Secret's runway in a skimpy skimpy lingerie. I would still need to kill that biatch for her legs tho.

Karolina Kurkova


However, Mischa Barton wins it hands-down for the celebrites under 25 with the most cellulite. Her cellulite are practically spilling outta her guts. Even I don't have that much, i think...........................................................maybe not.

Having these stars with cellulite gives us ladies like me a chance with the guys.
There's still hope afterall. *hallehujah*

P/S: Check out KK's ass. It's so cute. Makes u want to give it a little slap just to see it spring back at you.

Customers...

A dyke just stepped into my office. Her hair is reli short and she's wearing a white polo shirt with no bra on, i think.....Luckily didn't see any nipples. If not, I sure strike 4D tonight. She's definitely not the type of dyke any girl would fantasize having hot lesbian sex with. Trust me.

She or a he-wannabe tried to talk to me and chew mentos at the same time. She refered the two ends of an adapter cable as male and female. *shakes head in disbelief*

Dyke: I wan to look for a male connector. This connector i have is a female and my laptop is a female also. How to connect?
Me: *super blur face*
Dyke: How to connect?
Me: * regain my composure and think to myself ' As if you dunno' *
Dyke: How to connect, u tell me?? (Louder)
Me: Erm...
The way she talk made me feel like as if she's gonna call her gang of dyke-frens to beat me up. Geeting ur ass kicked by a bunch of he-wannabes is just downright humiliating.

(Then Nancy comes to my rescue)

Me: *thank God and quickly scurried back to my seat*

Holy crap!!!

Random

The other day, I saw MR NYIAU came into the office. Lucikly he didn't see me coz I was hidden behind a big pile of boxes. Just hearing his voice brings back fond memories in A levels. Sigh..*dreams*

And for some reasons, my right breast hurts real bad rite now. Ouch...Maybe I'm lactating.

What is a prom?

Prom is:-

~ an event where all the teenage girls have an excuse to ask for extra money from their parents and splurge in the saloon. Doing their hair, makeup and nails. Buy new dress and new shoes to match.

~ an event where they get to dress up as if they were going for the Oscars.

~ a way for girls to find out how many admirer(s) they have. So the more popular ones will show off to the less popular ones, " How many boys ask u to the prom oh? I only got like 50. So few rite?", knowing very well that that's a huge number.

~ an event where all the girls secretly hope to be the prom queen. However whenever others say " U're so pretty today, sure become prom queen one lar", the girls will start all the denying bullshit act " No lar..XXX prettier. No lar..AAA nicer. Me so ugly..blar blar blar"

~ backstabbing battlefield for the girls.
A to B: Wow, ur dress is so pretty. Suits u very well. I'm so jealous.
( Then A goes to her group of friends)
A to GOF: OMG, that dress on B is so fugly. Can see her panty line somemore.
(giggles)

As for the guys, boy they are vain too. They wanna style up their hair with shimmer powder to give that extra something. Put on their bling bling. :)
Prolly a new pair of undies coz the usual ones got holes in them. Wear their expensive Ralph Lauren perfume.

And since it is always shown on the Laguna Beach or the Super Sweet Sixteen, the usual group of friends will want to rent a limo so that they can arrive at the prom in style. *confetti and glitter powder in the air*

They would also want to take pictures ala wedding style. U noe those kinda frosted pics which makes one look so much better but in real life they are no different from crap? The guy puts his hand around the girl's waist or hips and smile as if they are so in love like that. *arm chio*

Cha bo and ta po, dis is prom in Brunei.

Dirty pool

Don't you just hate it when the swimming pool is all kinda yellowish/cloudy and there're lotsa bubbles floating around? The bubbles automatically triggers the thoughts of someone else's spit or it means that someone has farted whilst in the pool.
There was once I saw an uncle washing his armpits and feet with the pool water. -.-"
Ewwwww...............

Don't ever believe the shops.

I'm sure when u guys go shopping for something, u'll bargain rite?
The salesperson will cut you some slack and say "Okay la...i'll gip u diskaun dis dis dis....". And u'll feel so happy coz u managed to save a couple of bucks. Stuuupid...
The truth is these shops still managed to gain a profit of at least 25-50% off every item that they are selling. And they have the nerve to tell you "Veli chiiiip oredi".

Well that's what I said to customers.*paiseh*
I also cannot believe it came out of my mouth. My colleague did that so I just follow lor..Dunno how to deal with customers ba..

Some of them very kuai lan summore.
I'm new in the office so I can't possibly know every item's price orite? So for those that I noe, I'll tell lar..However, got this very chibai malay ah pek. I told him that I'm still a newbie but he kept asking me how much is this and how much is that. When I couldn't answer, he retorted " Dis one oso u dun noe ah? Evrything oso u dun noe ah?"
So I said " Yalor, I dun noe anything. U wait for the pandai one to come out and layan u la."
Chibai..I walk back to my seat and left him alone outside. Sooo tulan. I hope his grandchildren or great grandchildren all become ah kua ah.
K la..kinda off track oredi but my point is dun believe the words of salesmen and that the freaking malay ah pek is still out there.

I hope..

the Miri trip in June will jadi so I can stay overnite in my Miri house with my frens for the WEEKEND!!

And I also want to go for belly dancing lessons once I get access to the car. Then I can go anywhere at anytime lar..Good ah.

Family reunion dinner. NOT AGN???

Last Sat nite, Superman treated his side of the family to dinner at the Cottage Restaurant. All my aunts and uncles were there. Cousins and a-ve-li-wan la...Ate so much till the button of my skirt flew off by itself. Shattered the tv screen. Cam-whore time..!!

AnntheWaterPig,me and Kiera





AnntheWaterPig


The Elephant








This lady was sitting at the next table. The first thing you'll noticed if u see her is her hair. IT'S ONLY FIT TO BURN IN THE 18 LEVELS OF HELL. Can't believe it's on her head.



Went home and slept straight away. Wah, there goes my burning desire to lose weight.

Because of you

I'm sooo in love with Ne-Yo's new song 'Because of you'. AnntheWaterPig and I tried to imitate him dancing but alas, we just looked like Miss Heather ex-McCartney trying to dance without her prosthetic leg. So fail lar..

It doesn't cost you $1.20 for me to wash your undies

Remember the two expats? Their bills at Seaview Hotel was posted to my office this morning. Got to see their food and laundry bill. All the other bills were fair enuf but I noticed this.



$1.20 oh..??????????? To wash one pair of undies. Tsk tsk tsk...Why dun they just wash their undies in the bathroom and hang them up to dry? That's what almost everyone will do during vacations rite? I guess that's the downside of being a guy. They dun usually wear small undies coz their lil bro need to breathe. Their undies are made of thick material. As a result, they need to send it to the laundry and pay $1.20 for each pair. Wasting money..

This is why I need to diet

I think I pass lar..

On my way to BSRC yesterday, I still felt itsy bitsy nervous. It felt as if I am going to sit for my A levels agn without revising. Shoot...
Anyways, reached there at 6.30pm just to find out that I was LATE for my test. It was supposed to start at 6.00pm. Woowee,what a great start..-.-

Got into the pool and then, the nightmare began. This is what I was asked to do in a mere 20 minutes or so:
1) Do 2 laps. 1 lap freestyle and 1 lap breaststroke.
2) Dive 2m into the pool to retrieve the mouldy ring.
3) Water treading for 30 seconds
4) 1 lap backcrow.
5) Do 2 laps agn. 1 lap freestyle and 1 lap breaststroke. This time faster.
6) 3 checkpoint swim.
7) Water sculling
8) Then dive 2m into the pool agn. Gotta get that elephant body of mine thru a
small hula hoop WITHOUT touching the hoop.
9) Do 1 minute of continuous swimming. Fast.

The coach says " If u do 2 laps only in 1 minute, that means u're weak. LOUSY."
I did slightly more than 2.5 laps. Not weak lar..not LOUSY lar..
This is how I look with the hula hoop.




I reli used up all my energy in that 20 minutes. At the end of the grading, I was a dead fish.



My whole body felt like this.



I didn't even have the energy to pull up my panties while getting dressed. I couldn't care less. I just walk lyk dis la.



But thinking about how I survived the nightmare, I almost kissed my reflection in da mirror.
Went home and chomp on half a packet of nasi lemak. So damn hungry! Watched Just Follow Law. Haha..so funny. Singa-po-leans are sibeh ho chio. Didn't get to finish the movie. Superwoman came into my room and start yakking off.
" Tomolo no need to work ah? Tomolo no need to go to skool ah?"
Switched off the TV and slept like an elephant.

Sorry for the awful art lar..I think the teacher secretly bear a grudge against me. Always gave a big fat F for art.

Nokia 2626

Someone from the BSP had made an order of 116 Nokia 2626(s). Nokia 2626 oh? BSP sooo rich can only buy Nokia 2626...Haiyer..Beta save up the moolah and spent it on a nicer phone like the Dopod or Blackberry. Big shots working in BSP should use better phones to suit their status. It's so annoying to see a well-dressed man driving a super nice car and pull out an obsolete phone which goes 'PRIENG,PRIENG..!!'. So potong steam..

Nokia 2626



Dopod



Got ping, perper and bru karrer summore..



Blackberry



NICE!!

Angelbert's hair

Recently, there were 2 'not so expat' expats working in my office for a week or so. One guy is a MalaysianChinese from KL and the other is a Filipino living in Singapore. My subject today is the Filipino guy. His name is Angelbert. Walau..and my name is Lesifer.
Anyways, I think he can be considered a successful man. He's also a relatively good looking lad. That is minus the hair or what's left of the very little hair that he has. I wonder..why hold on to the few strands of hair that makes him soooo much older? If I were him, I'll shave it all off. It's all or nothing. There're a lot of hot baldies out there namely Vin Diesel, that chinese dude who acted in The Banquet with Zhang Ziyi and etc. Angelbert can so totally rock that look coz he's got big eyes and he's TALL.



So Angelbert, just cut it all off. Then all the kiasu Singa-po-lean gals who wants to marry a good and rich husband sure will go after u one.

Yesterday

I went to WYWY for lunch with Laurence, Harry, Eric and Vijay. 4 guys and a girl. The car was small enough oredi but being the gentlemen that they are, they let me sit in the front passenger seat.

So Eric, Vijay and Harry ended up like dis.



Was so happy to go back to office that I look lyk dis. I noe I desperately need some concealer.




Went to BSRC in da late afternoon and got to practice. Bumped into Tommy.
Yes! I finally made it to the bottom of the pool. And still got time to cam-ho agn. (I didn't do any editing to the photos lar..it just turn out that way)



P/S: U can check out new photos I posted on past posts.

Zhu zhu..

is wat every boy and girl will become once they found their respective 'other halves'. And this only happens to Chinese couples.(dis is to show u I'm no racist)
It's just too damn haram for Malay couples.

Eg:
1) A written testimonial from a girl to her 'zhuzhu xyxy' - " To my zhuzhu xyxy, just wanna say that I lap u forever and ever and ever. The sky, earth and heaven oso cannot tear us apart. From ur zhuzhu xxxx."

2) A written testimonial from a boy to his 'zhuzhu xxxx' - " Darling zhuzhu xxxx, I'm so lucky to have u. My love for u will never die. I want to be with u until the end of the world!! From ur zhuzhu xyxy."




So 'not professional' til can die ar....>_<
To those 18 yrs and above, if u're still doing dis then shame on u!*shakes head*
To my current bollocks and future bollocks(s), dun ever call me zhuzhu. Ever! U're just gonna add more salt to the 'already very salted' wound. And it's just so not cute k.

P/S: For those of u who dun noe what zhuzhu means, it's PIG.

Hilarious..

This is something that I came across while browsing thru someone else's blog namely sisuahlai's blog. His blog is darn funny..go to sisuahlai.blogspot.com for more laughs.

I no understand

How can Superman married Superwoman and produced 3 pigs and 1 elephant? This I no understand. *shakes head*

Da test

Wokay, the real swimming test is tomoro. Kinda nervous bcoz dis is the first time I felt that I could actually fail this shit. Heck no!! I didn't go for weekly lessons and pay $25 monthly for more than 3 months just to fail it. I HAVE TO pass the test!
I'm da best swimmer among my siblings and I can't afford to lose this 'title'. My face is at stake here!!

It would totally hurt my ego if I fail. I have a huge ego. And for u male readers out there, my ego is as big as your balls. So oni u noe how BIG it is.*stupid grin on my face*

So I'm gonna go BSRC and practice later. Hope it will suffice. Fingers crossed.

P/S: My boss aka Mr Tan is coughing his ass off right now. Feel so sorry for him. U beta get well soon, my boss. If not, u won't be able to give me my salary then it will be MY turn to cough ar..

My new shoes

My uncle just got back from Kuching a few days ago. He brought back lotsa shoes which my aunt bought for me and AnntheWaterPig.

The moment I set my eyes on that pair of flats, I developed a 'crush' on it. It's pretty but not pretty enough for me to fall head over heels with it. Peach/cream in colour. Suits my skintone. RM30 oni, so cheap agn. Perfecto..almost. post up pics of it soon. Still trying to work out this whole blogging thing.
Edit: Pics are here.
My old shoes. So EOL oredi.



My new shoes!!



But, u noe what would be perfecto? THAT pair of silver flats from Bata. Sigh..why didn't I just buy it? *smacks my head with my new pair of shoes*
Someone beta bring my ass up to Bandar and get it ASAP!!!! I would be heart-broken if someone else got it. *sob sob*

*smacked my head and bleeds to death*

" Oh my god, u killed Lesley!"
" U bastard!"

So enjoy ar..?

My office is real near to a construction site. It's full of thai labourers. Anyways, I was peeing in the loo when someone or something is singing to its heart's content outside.
" Chern mai rak kun...lee chet ruk kun..yadda yadda yadda" (sound sumthing lyk tat lar..). U noe the deal. I was thinking " walau..so enjoy oso the thai labourers. I want to listen to my mp3 inside the office oso cannot." Kek sin ar..

O u suck

Yes Omarion he sucks ass! I think he's truly untalented. Keeps showing off his abs coz u noe, it'll gets him some attention. Thinking that it's hot, well it's not. Can die lar..All his previous songs were flops on the charts. Then 'Ice Box' appeared. I actually like it!! I thought wah, Omarion finally got a nice hit. But I smell something fishy. Omarion alone can't created such a great hit. Then I go check. Ooooo..He got Timbaland (da man)on his side. No wonder 'Ice Box' is good. So, I'm right. Omarion still sucks.





Omarion, u still dun get it huh? That's why u suck.

Since I'm so free,

will continue with my blogging. Speaking of BQ 799, it brings me to these bunch of people. U noe those pai kia wannabes who drive in a fleet of same small sized cars but different colours. All modified with the sound system, body kit and real loud engines. Sometimes I think all the modifications costs more than the car itself lor. Tsk tsk..
They hogged the streets of Jln Pretty every Saturday or Sunday coz these are the best days for showing off. 'VROOOOM..!' they go. When others stare at them, they think " These suckers are checking out my ride YO!". Nuh-uh!
Sorry to burst your bubbles but we're staring at you coz we're wondering who are the fucking idiots making so much noise with their lousy 2 cents ride.

And every fleet sure has its own leader or 'tai-ko' rite? Besides the leader, u will owez see a girl. Clearly it's the leader's gf aka 'tai-sou'. When I look at her, I can basically picture a huge cloud above her head with the caption " U see my boy? So cool rite..I bet u can't have this! Nye nye nye.." on it. OMIGOD..
Don't want to look back at you somemore oh..oni has eyes for the bf and the sky ba. Bloody hell..Disturb my sleep nia.
If u think u're so steady, drive a Porsche la. Then I'll look at you for all the right reasons.
Since I'm feeling 'kind' today, okay la I won't curse you to have an eksiden.
I just hope the police catch you at road blocks and fine you many many. Then we'll have less of these 2 cents ride and i can slp peacefully at nite.

*plays with a razor blade, eksiden-tally slashed my wrist and dies*

" Oh my god, u killed Lesley!"
" U bastard!"

BQ 799

*Remarks: To friends and acquaintances(dunno how to spell lar) of BQ 799, no offence k harhar..

I have noticed this car for a veli long time oredi. It seems like wherever I go, I see this car. It is owez overtaking my car and other ppl's car. My mum is a '60kph on the highway' kinda driver so that one no excuse lar..But other ppl drive quite fast oso ma, still he overtake. Rushing where oh? Go die ah? Just a small small Mazda 2 car, u think u drive Ferrari meh? Puh-leese... He's da kinda driver who drives with his nose touching the ceiling. U think u Jay Chou? Puh-leese....One hand holding a ciggie and the other maybe inside his pants, boy I hope he gets into an eksiden ah.

Pui nua ah..
End.

I must beat Ms Tazzy at least by the 500 mark

Yesterday i was chatting to Miss Tazzy and we were talking abt exercising and dieting, u noe girlie stuff like that. I found out that she does skipping as well. And I told her proudly that I do 100-200 perday thinking it was a lot..stupiak me. Miss Tazzy then said "Oh..I do abt 500-1600.". My jaw literally dropped onto the table with a loud THUD.
If Miss Tazzy can do it, so can I. I've got a few months to start building up my counts. Good luck to me! To all readers out there, say good luck to me lar..Even tho it won't give me more energy to skip more but I'm happy at least someone out there takes a teeny weeny bit of time to wish me gd luck mar..Can mo?

Pek chek, tu lan, beh song

The sides of my mouth hurts. my nose is really runny today and I've got baby hairs poking my face and eyes. No matter how I push them away, they still come back and poke me somemore. Ahhhhhh!!!!! Feel like taking a scissor and cut off all of them. Stupid hair..spend so much money on you and this is how u repay me.

And of top of all this, I'm in da office opening files and more files looking for a few pieces of crappy documents.I hate this..!!! I can't believe that I'm saying this but I wanna go study!! I dont want to be stuck in this crappy office any longer..So damn emo now lar...

SI BEH TULAN! SI BEH PEK CHEK! SI BEH BEH SONG!

I still

owe Tiger Woods his present. it's been almost 2 months liau. Haiya..hate it lor. He's so damn rich that he practically gets everything he wants. What to buy for him? Luckily I bought viv hers oredi. If not i'll be so pokkai.

Cook for him? Don't want. If not nice, it'll just give him another chance to diss me. Hell no!!

Become his amah? Don't want. he'll torture me for sure. Hell no!

Buy another shirt? Dont want. he's got tons of them oredi. As if he needs another one. Hell no!

Get him fishing supplies? Maybe...Since he likes fishing so much. But he can buy them himself oso wa..Haiyer..!!! Headache ah.

*Think too much and head explodes*

" Oh my god, u killed Lesley!"
" U bastard!"

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY

Obviously today is mother's day. I didn't get my mum anything tho. Heck, i didn't even wish her happy mother's day. Now b4 u start thinking that I'm some sort of ungrateful bitch, I DID tried to do that a few times oredi but it just feel awkward lar..So i did the next best thing instead. I helped her sweep the balcony and washed the dishes after lunch. Seeeee..good girl le.

Anyways..just want to say
1) Sorry mum for all the bad stuff tat I chose to do.
2) Sorry i didn't get 4'A's in A-level but sciences are not my strong points.
3) Sorry I called u a *bleep* when u didn't let me stayed at home all alone. I must have been possessed!Oppsss...

Truth is i do care for you. I'm oso proud of you coz u are a strong woman. I'll study real hard and get a real good job so u can shake legs at home wif daddy in near future.

I lo...lo...lo..lov.......love you. Damn,dis is cheesy lar.Dunno how I can say that to Tiger Woods. I oso feel cheesy abt it but I do mean it wokay...Argh..

*dies from excessive cheesiness*

"Oh my god, u killed Lesley!"
" U bastard!"

Aiyo

I dunno how to link to other ppl's blog le..

*scratches my pimply forehead, long pia and dies*

" Oh my god, u killed Lesley!"
" U bastard!"

I DIDN'T KNOW

that the earphones that comes with mobile phones can be used for mp3 purposes. There's this lil rectangle thingy which is for hands free so I figured that it for answering calls only. However, last nite outta curiousity on whether it'll work if I played my mp3 I tried it on. Sweeeeet music blasted into my ears.
"WOW..it works!!"(with a really sakai look on my face)
And my sis, AnntheWaterPig seeing that sakai face of mine tries hers too. Few seconds later, she had the same sakai look as well. Both of us then laughed like some lunatics who just picked up a million bucks from the road.-.-'''

Later on, my whole family had dinner in WYWY at seria. All of a sudden, this scrawny old lady enter WYWY and starts asking random people for money. I'm sure everyone who has been to Seria would have seen her b4. She approached my dad, the Superman.
"Ah kau, yau yat kau mo?"(mister, do you have one dollar?)
Superman being the ever so sarcastic man replied,"Why don't you give me one dollar instead?"
The old lady then playfully gave Superman a slap on his arm!WAAHLIUU....so old oredi still want to flirt with Superman ah..die lo.
AnntheWaterPig asked "Superman, u let her touch u meh? I see also feel so geli er...". She flashed a stupid grin at me.Tsk tsk tsk...
Then I spotted some eye candy. HAWT Gurkha guys..I noe what u're thinking once u read the Gurkha part but theese guys are different wokay??They are actually good looking and tall summore, not those uglay stumpy Gurkhas with wives and a whole bunch of anak Gurkha.

As I was getting ready to go to bed, the door bell rang. Turns out my '17 years no see' cousins from Canada came to visit and see what my siblings and I look like. -.-
No lar..I'm just joking. They were really friendly and bubbly as in like really really really bubbly..Honestly I don't remember them at all coz I was just 1 year old when they migrated to Canada. One of them, Kim Hui has a daughter named Kiera Stephanie Faye Lightning.Watta name..!
Hahaha..But she's seriously cute coz she's lyk those pan-Asian girls, mixed blood. Very chubby lor..Hope she'll shed off the pounds as she grows older. God help her.
Edit: Her pics.
Kim Hui and Kiera Stephanie Faye Lightning. I think I just used up all my energy just by typing her name.



But first of all, HELP ME!!!! I've been veli the obedient and exercise almost every evening for 9 months oredi
and still no drastic change lor..TIU.As JX quoted, "Sickening lo.."

Speaking of which, I think I've just busted my 1600 calorie per day allowance yesterday.FUCK FUCK FUCKITY FUCK

Still thinking about whether to buy the silver flats from Bata or the super gorgeous red wedges from charles and keith..Maybe I shud just buy both of them.They both cost B$40 each. Then I'll have new shoes which makes me glow like a ..urm glowworm.Duh!
Reminds me of this song from Paolo Nutini- New Shoes.
" Hey! I put some new shoes on and suddenly everything's all right.." (sumthing like that lar)

*Edit: Turns out there was no swimming test yesterday. Just a false alarm.

Swimming test..yaikss!

I've been taking swimming lessons for abt 2 years or so. I used to look forward to it every friday coz among my siblings I'm the best. That's because i used to go swimming with my frens in BSRC every wk or so. And now they are all gone..:(
No more fun sessions every thursday, sigh
My stamina now sucks lyk shit..(well, according to a certain sumone my stamina hav owez sucked)
I can't even hold my breath for lyk freaking 5 seconds..!!Ha!How am I going to dive 2m into the pool to pick up some stupiak ring???And I'm having the test in like 2 hrs?WTF??!!
Luckily I'm having my menses so I can skipped it. Hooray!!
However, I'll still have to take the replacement test. Shit, how?

Well, dis is a start

After reading sooo many people's blog, I've decided to actually create very own. Here I am sitting in the office with nothing to do...sometimes I feel so paiseh when the boss aka Mr Tan is sitting there watching me do nothing. He must be thinking "Walan, I pay u to read other ppl's blog izzit???"
La, la,la,la....Ciao later!