Asshole cramps.

Did I tell you guys abt this oredi?? Nevermind. I want to tell you again.

Don't you ever had that feeling which is similar to your asshole opening up by itself and is gonna tear open if you don't suck your ass cheeks in ASAP?? And if you are sitting on a chair, it forces you to suck ur ass cheeks in so much your whole butt gets lifted off the chair. Damn power!

My sis and I call them 'asshole cramps'. Which basically just means ur asshole is cramping up.

Help me man. I don't want torn asshole. What for? Easier to have anal sex ha? Tiu.

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I think I might just receive the best birthday present ever!!!

I landed a 3 day job at the Rainforest Music Festival at Damai Beach. So it means the chance of me bumping into Kenny Sia just went up 500%??? It pays RM50 a day. Meals and accommodation included.

Hamchipeng's bf got selected to join first. When Hamchipeng and I wanted to join, there were no slots left. However, 2 person backed out at last minute and we got the job!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

When Hamchipeng first told me abt the rainforest thingy, I thought it was some work or event done by environmentalists. WTH. So I might as well just join and earn some money lo. Only when she explained then I realise, it's the music festival where people from all round the world come to enjoy.

EHEHHEHAHAHAHEHHEHHAHEEEAHAHAHAH!!

But I have to wait til I get to the briefing first to confirm whether I have the place or not. Maybe by mouth say I'm in but last minute change of plans le...Fingers crossed I have it. Then you guys will have lotsa photos to look at.

:D

Pics.

Hello ppl!!! Here are a few pics to entertain you guys. Not in order one.


We played with the webcam.


WTF.

The next 2 pics I got from a forward my friend sent me. I know it's old news oredi but I still want to put up here. See how his head pecah?? Imagine the pain. Siau.

The dress which make me looks 20 pounds thinner. You must be thinking if this is what she looks like 20 pounds lighter, then she must look terrible in real life. Sorry, the lighting no good. The fitting room looks dodgy too. Heheh.

Staying overnight at Hamchipeng's house. The one is pink is Yieng Yen her sis. The one in yellow is you know la.

While we were waiting to enter the cineplex for 'The Happening'. Too eng oredi.

My sis getting shoot by James McAvoy (sp?).

YY dunno how to pose like Ashley Tisdale.
J trying to be Z and L trying to be V. JZ and LV wtf.
Why the damn Lucas Grabeel looks so scared??


My granma's house.

Dinner at open air.
Candid sohainess.
Me imitating the dude in the poster.

Hello ppl.

My flight from Kuching to Miri today was at 6.25pm and I'm still in Kuching.

Everything is packed and ready to go. Then I told my aunt that I actually don't have a thing to do when I return to Brunei so she told me to stay back here. We actually reached the airport then my uncle told me to phone my mum and asked her if I can stay behind. She says "OK lor. Mumi Dadi don't mind one".

I supposed I'll be here until 20th July latest.

I am thinking of working at Magic Bite which is a waffle shop which is branching out rapidly in Kuching. There's one branch at Cold Storage(a Malaysian version of SupaSave?) which is SO near to my granma's house that I can walk and reach there in 5 minutes.

Some pics maybe tomorrow. Need time/motivation to upload the pics.

And if you think some handsome guy rejected me which is why I wrote the below post, nuh uh. Something just came to my attention and it pisses me off hence the post. Sorry, this lady here no body wants ba. Handsome, ugly, okok also dun have.

To a so-called leng zhai who graduated from Chung Hua in 2005.

I swear to God, someday someone is going to treat you the same way you treat others.

You think you are very handsome? Becoz your frens/ stupid girls with no taste constantly says you are gd looking? Becoz you are a bit tad taller than everyone else? The way you walk around KB as if you own the town and as if all the girls are in lust with you.

Let me tell you. What you have there on your face is not getting you anywhere outside of Brunei. You are not even worth shit outside there.

I hope you will have a son or daughter so fucking ugly that it makes you wonder what you did to deserve that.

Remember this.

I don't want to leave Kuching yet!

My cousins, my sis and I have so much fun shopping around in Kuching. Today, I bought 11 tops and another pair of shoes and a blue-green clutch. Almost everything was on sale. The reason I even dare to enter the atas shop like Esprit/Mango is also becoz they have sale.

1) Red sandals from Vincci and clutch - RM 82
2) MNG blouse- RM30
3) No brand blouses/tops - RM180
4) Espirit shirt - RM35
5) Padini polo shirt - RM54
6) No brand black vest + white top - RM100
7) Night slip - RM47

I am so embarassed gao gao today at the Spring coz whenever I walk past the detectors, it goes off!! Dunno why. Maybe becoz of the PSP I carry in my bag. All the ppl looked at me like I'm some kind of criminal wtf.

And the saleslady whom I bought the nightslip from asked if I am getting married soon coz I bought the 'supposedly sexy' nightslip. Shit man. If I get married, no need to wear anything in the bedroom OK. Easy access ba wtf.

I got my Ipod back from the Apple store at the Spring. The guy who fixed my Ipod is so charming. He's not exactly the handsome can die type but he has his own gd qualities. He has small eyes and a real solid build. His name is Wyatt I think. :D

A few days ago, I just realised how tough my auntie is. The one who went to NZ with me. She downed her medicine/pills with Carlsberg beer one. And proceed to eat seafood. Wow.
Next time, I want to grow up to be like her. *determined face*

New clothes and new hair colour.

Hey y'all!!

I just spent RM180 at the Alan Inspiration Saloon to get my hair dyed the new brown colour. It's brown. Full. Not the half brown half red or half brown half yellow.

So worth it man. It wasnt in my plan to dye my hair today but because my cousins wanted to cut their hair so my sis and I accompany them. When we reach there, we saw the price range for a dye job. I forced my sis to dye her hair also heheh. Pics maybe next time.

I bought this absolutely beautiful dress which makes me look 20 pounds slimmer no kidding OK! And I bargained it down to RM55 only.

My dad gave me RM1500 for this trip. Mum gave me B$100 but I didnt use it coz I want to keep it heheh...And RM200 from granma and RM300 from another aunt. Gave RM350 to my sis coz she arrived in Kuching 6 days after me. Now I only have RM600 left after all the shopping. :(

You think I'd get a lot of things already rite but I only have 3 tops, 1 dress, 1 shirt, 2 pairs of shoes, a new hairdo and 8 panties. Where did all the money go?? Orh, I did buy 6 shirts for my whole family and some short jogging pants and 2 pair of shoes for my mum. Cilakak one. Both her shoes are more expensive than mine OK. My shoes oni cost RM74 total and her is RM84.

Back to more shopping!!!

Not fair le!

My Lim Peh is gonna retire soon rite?? On 19th July this yr.

He is waiting/hoping for BSP to sign another contract with him so he can continue working in BSP for another 2 yrs or something.

But another private company has booked him to work for them. For B$500 a day. WOAH!!

Not fair ok. I work one month 500, he work one day also 500. He says he prefers the job at BSP coz altho the fixed salary is 6K, he can get a lot of overtime money and allowances for my overseas studies which is 800 dollars a month.

I think it's the same ok coz if he takes the private company job, he'll earn 11K a month. 11K ok. Where u find? I hope Lim Peh will get what he wants la. If in the end, both also dun have then kanasai la. Pls!!! I pray he gets the job.

*****************

My granma was talking abt my granpa. Then it made me think abt my dad's dad. He died in 1993 i think. What I know is that he paid for his own funeral u know. Using his pension money from BSP. My granpa worked in BSP too. He said he didnt want my dad to spend any money la.

During the day of the funeral, my dad being the only son of Woon family, his family has to stand in front of the coffin and do some bowing ritual. My first bro was behind me.

We were holding 3 joss sticks and becoz my bro was looking down, he didnt realise the tip of the burning joss sticks were on my back. Which of coz burned me wtf. I was POed la. Then I stood behind him and put my joss sticks on his back too. My dad saw and quickly pulled me away from him.

TIU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My granpa went to heaven oredi still want to protect his fav grandson. WTF!!!!

No joking k. When my mum gave birth to me, he only came to see me the next day. But when he heard that my mum gave birth to my bro oredi, he quickly rushed to the hospital even tho it was midnight or later. Kasian this author, nobody sayang one.

*******************

I have been in Kuching for a week now and I have not even taken one single picture of me and needless to say, I havent bump into Kenny Sia yet.

I feel so much better now!

Think it was the unshaved armpits. Ahahahah..WTF!

And also I changed my shampoo to Johnson's Baby and my hair feel so light!! The previous brand was OK too but I guess I was using it for too long.

I felt so good I actually put on makeup today!! Just a swipe of mascara and dab of lipgloss.

**************

Wah siau, my colleagues and I just spent the past 1 hour gossiping abt 'bosses'. It was so juicy k. Since the boss is in China and lady boss is in Miri. I wish everyday at Shim's is like that. Then I dun wan to quit la.

I am in a very bad mood today.

So bad as in I cannot even fake a smile even if you wave a LV bag in front of my face.

It might be the hair, the skin, the body, the lady boss, EVERYTHING!!!

My hair regrowth is so obvious now it's disgusting. 5cm of black hair and 25cm of kanasai colour. WTF.

My skin is oily during the days and perfect only at night. Who look at you at night orh??

Like I said, I'm getting fatter.

Can the lady boss shut the fuck up? Each time she comes into the office, it's like earthquake OK. Slamming the door, talking REAL loud on her iPhone, forcing herself to laugh REAL loud (you know the kind of fake laugh).

My gum is hurting agn. Wisdom teeth growing through another phase.

Sore throat.

A slight fever from the teeth growth? Mothers always say if you have teeth growing, you'll suffer from a fever rite??

The feeling like you wan to shit but there's nothing!! Worse, it's intermittent. Like you feel it one second then it's gone for a few hours. Then it comes back agn.

Unshaped eyebrow.

Unshaved armpits. Ewwwww.

Bad chipped nail colour.

U-G-L-Y
U-G-L-Y
U-G-L-Y

I swear to God, I'll go to a saloon this Sunday before I leave for Kuching to get my eyebrows plucked and get a mani/pedi. I'll wax my own armpits. *gambate*

1 more day!

OK happy happy! Randomness-

I spent the last 3 nights watching the 3 installments of Lord of the Rings. It was good! Dunno why I didnt watch it when it was first released in the cinema.

My PSP is now playable! But I only know how to play 3 outta the 5 games. One of the games is something like Counterstrike or Dota or whatever current game kids are playing in the cyber cafes these days. I seriously have no idea how to play them. I dunno how the guys know where to go, what to shoot, what not to shoot, what to retrieve and blablabla.

I heard so many stories abt my current company's bosses. This la, that la.
S-C-A-N-D-A-L-O-U-S.

I am getting fatter agn..My sis says I have gotten a lil bit fatter since I returned from NZ. Oh no! I'm so lazy to run. Pls somebody, anybody! Leave a tag and say 'You're fat! Go jog OK!". Pwezzz....T_______T

BAH!

Such a thoughtless big fat pig!!

Did you guys read abt the forward that Kinkybluefairy got? Abt the predictions of the future.

I am seriously scared rite now mkay.

If it is true then it means the end of the world is prolly just 25-30 yrs away. Global warming, tsunami and all that. And here I am, thinking abt what designer bags/shoes I shud save up for. You selfish pig...

See those ppl in Africa, food and water also dun have arh!!! I saw a clip on TV yesterday. A woman is carrying her crying infant. To hush the baby, she pulled out her breast and stuffed it in the baby's mouth. I don't think got any milk inside lor...The baby is prolly just sucking air. She is so thin oredi niama where got milk??? If I get pregnant, confirm I can produce enough milk to feed at least 10 of those skinny kids.

And then when the whole bunch of kids( hundreds of them) heard rumors that there's gonna be food distribution, they run SO fast can?? Like one minute you see them lying on the floor abt to die and the next, they are all up and running so fast like 50Cent is abt to get shoot for the 10th time.

I hope the predictions are fake coz I don't want to die so soon mkay.

And I deleted the wishlist coz it makes the whole page too 'wordy'. Too many words. I'll write the wishlist down on a paper and stash it somewhere safe like my bra.

My red hot 'thesegamescannotbestarted' PSP.

It's been abt 1 week since my gorgeous red PSP arrived and I haven't even played a single game.

Why?

Coz the all the free 5 games cannot be started. I called their helpline. They say I have to bring my PSP to the Bandar showroom to get the guys there to fix it. I where got time to go to Bandar orh..?? I work until Sat one le. 5pm ok.

Why ppl buy PSP can straight away play? But mine has manyak manyak problem.
*ROAR*

Why I don't like to have lunch outside during working days.

At home, I can:

1) Eat my lunch and switch on MTV/ Mythbusters / CSI / Double Shot at the same time.

2) After lunch, if I *need* to poop then the toilet is just 2 steps away. And clean white toilet paper is *always* next to you.

3) If I want to lie in my bed for 5 minutes, I can do so too. If I wan to roll around in my parents king size bed also can. Then when the mum sees that, she will scold "You stupid girl! I just fold the blanket. See now it's all messed up agn."

4) I have tonnes of delicious cold drinks/desserts in the fridge from which I can choose from. Ceres Red Grape Juice, Yakult Original and Yakult Apple, Vegood Strawberry Beat, Dutch Lady Chocolate Milk, Marigold Grape Jelly, Marigold Peach Jelly and lotsaaaaaa.

5) I can switch on all the 3 TVs at my home simultaneously and no one cares.

6) The aircons are switched on 24/7 at my house so everything is chilly. Damn siok when you just spent the past 4 hours outside and are feeling sticky gao gao.


Outside:

Ummm..............hmm..................................nothing! I can do nothing! No aircon summore!

But then agn, it's during working days. If holiday season, everyday go out also can la.

Sien arh...

I am quitting the job here at Shim's. Actually not quitting la, it's becoz Shim doesn't need me anymore. This is prolly the last week here unless the boss wants me to stay for a week or so to finish up the Sultan bday's thing.

How the hell did I get into advertising? I didnt want to!!! OK let me list down the events which got me here.

1) Quit Comosi Enterprise.

2) Join ArchMedia Advertising but am in the event management side.

3) Based in KB so my workplace is in Shim's Advertising Studio (ArchMedia and Shim's are partners).

4) Finished up my work and something bad happened to ArchMedia and the lady boss told me she didnt need me anymore, boohoo wtf.

5) Since I have nothing to do now and one of Shim's admin staff is on leave, I offered to help the other office girl until the one on leave is back.

6) Shim's lady boss kept on pestering me to work for Shim's as a salesperson. Put on a forced smile and declined. Lady boss still dun get it and asked me the same thing several more times.

7) I was half working half playing in the office one day when the lady boss slammed a hugeass file on the table.
" Nah Lesley, this is all the information on the customers who always buy the banners for Sultan's bday. This year, I wan you to handle everything!! Draw up a form, fax it to them and call them. It's very easy one...!"

8) So today, I am hating my job right now. She did not asked me if I wan to do it or not. I thought I agreed to help as an ADMIN staff. Not a salesperson. She basically forced this job on me. I tell you OK. This salesperson thing is no different from door to door salesman. Everytime I call, the ppl answer me like they wan to quickly put down the phone or something. Damn you lady boss! If this is so easy, you do it yourself already la. Why pass to me??

Pls God...5 more days.

Huan Huan wtf.

Aiya, destined oredi my fav colour is red. I added the Facebook application 'Olympic Mascot' and the result is Huan Huan!!! She/He is the big brother summore.

I dun know how to use my Ipod *cries*

I did managed to sync 12 South Park episodes on to Ipod la. And 14 songs.

I read somewhere once you register your Ipod to a PC, you cannot use other PC anymore. How??? I registered using my office PC orh. There are lotsa songs in my home's PC that I still want to sync. And that if I want to sync, I have to re-register using my home PC and all the songs and videos previously stored in Ipod will be wiped off. Wut da fark???

*wails................................................*

Org bodoh..got canggih player in your hands but dunno how to use...

"This Sunday pergi mana?"

There's this Indian guy, S, who never fails to ask me the same question as weekends approaches.

"This Sunday pergi mana?"

I am not discriminating against Indians or what k. Just that he is very annoying! Isit becoz he's Shim's sole salesman he thinks he's all that? There are many Indians, Filipinos and Indon in the workshop but they never bother me like he did. They are friendly not pushy. S always like to ask all the ladies in the office to have lunch with him. Many times I tried to come up with excuses to avoid it but he did made me go a few times. Fuck.

"This Sunday pergi mana?"

Pergi mana? Saya beritahu kau. Saya pergi mati pun, saya tidak mahu keluar dengan kau. Jangan tanya saya kalau saya mahu pergi ke Labuan, Miri dan Bandar. Tengok muka saya. Ada ia nampak mcm mau pergi ke Labuan dan Miri? Aku lebih rela tidur dan makan di rumah pun tidak mahu pergi ke mana mana dengan kau. Kalau boleh, saya juga tidak mahu makan tengah hari dengan kau. Nanti orang lain ingat saya tidak mampu bayar untuk makanan sendiri.

Bangun la... Bila org menolak ajakan kamu beberapa kali, ertinya dia tidak minat ok. Tidak faham ka??

Kalau saya suka berkawan sama kau, tidak perlu kau beli apa apa untuk aku. Saya sendiri akan beli barang/ belanja makan untuk kau.

Don't tell me I'm mean coz he is just trying to be nice......................................Just that........

Fine, I don't want to explain anymore. Those ppl who have been in my position will know la!

Edit: Muahahahah! Turns out I'm not mean. The other girl who works here thinks he's annoying as well. Oh and the ppl working in the workshops are not only friendly but so funny as well! The Filipinos tried to imitate the Indians talking and the Indons imitate the Filipinos talking. LOL!

Scary dream.

My dream last night was like a collection of bad Malaysian horror stories played in a slideshow.

Ohh my my.

It started with me going back to school (SMSA) to take a Business Studies exam. I was like 'that's weird. i dun take business studies also'. Then Josh actually said 'never mind la. business studies just need to write some crap and can sure pass oredi one'.

Just as I was abt to enter the exam hall, the teacher stopped me and said I am not allowed to take the test. And then Josh was like 'hahahaaa. just kidding!'. -_____-"

The scene changes to me walking to the carpark and all of a sudden, Wong Teck Sion and I were sitting in the car's backseat while Tzen and Chia Kok Hau sat in the front. We were talking as if we are super best friends for-evaaaaa.....We drove around the carpark and bumped into Norhayati. She entered the car. Another super best fren for-evaaaa....

We drove to a house. All of us got off. We entered the house and saw Maya Karin(from Channel V) with her mum. I look around. The rest of them are gone now and standing beside me is ChongJiaXin.

There are a gazillion portraits hanging on the wall. From celebrities like Lindsay Lohan to ancient Chinese emperors to someother unknowns. It was downright creepy! We walked thru many hallways and so many corners. Suddenly, we just freaked out and started to run back.

The thing is I was SO slow. Imagine me doing the jogging motion but with normal walking speed. I was that slow. JiaXin was super fast like Speedy Gonzales zoom zoom! However, I knew my way back. I knew which corner to take, which side of the hallway is the right exit and JiaXin seems oblivious to all these things. Each time, she goes the wrong way I'll overtake her for a while then she'll find me and sped past me.

This continues on for a while until we almost reach the exit. Maya Karin and her mum are no where in sight. Just as we are abt to grab the door handle, something attacked one of us from behind. It was Maya Karin's head! With her intestines hanging from the neck. And her head is green. T______________________________T

I am not sure which one of us got attacked but I have a feeling it's me coz I'm so slow. -_-"

Then the scene changes to some old Western cowboy town. I saw 4 greasy old cowboys surrounding 2 young girls. Then you know la....They raped them! And peed on them wtf. -___-"

Dunno if the cowboys' pee is acid or not coz the girls actually melted into the ground and disappeared!

Aiya Lesley Joan Woon Wenfei, why you owez have these kind of X-rated stupid horrendous dreams??!!

Edit: OK! I confirm never gonna buy anything else from QQeStore. Now they call me and say 'maybe arrive tomorrow'. Ya, 'maybe' I oso want to write a letter to BB to complain!!

Today, we are here to mourn the loss of dear Zen V Plus.

Fuck. The moment I managed to get my hands on some really good songs, Zen decided to die on me!!

It happened before but I was able to press reset and voila! Back to normal. Not this time.
T______________________________T

Then I think to myself maybe this is a sign from God that I shud get a Ipod Nano wtf.
Don't tell me I can get Zen repaired here or send back to Singapore. Hell no. (actually i oso want to get an Ipod ba)
I wanted to die without my mp3.

I was so bored. Now there are only 2 Astro gold cards coz splitters are banned stupid astro ppl.
Last Sun, I went up to Bandar to look for Nano but.....

Bad > Don't you realise that everytime you need something, you just can't find it? But when you don't need it, it is just everywhere in front of you.

Worse > I bought a 4GB memory card for $88 at Wetszone and the DVD store 2 steps behind it sells the same card for $78. T________________________T

Worst > I found out that very same shop sells the same red PSP Slim i bought from QQ for $428 and it comes free with a 4GB memory card!!! T_____________T

I hate you QQeStore!!

I know you'll say dun hate QQ, hate yourself coz you are stupid and buy things on impulse.

So yesterday, I quickly called up QQeStore agn to see if they have any Ipod in stock. But I can only buy the 4GB Nano coz I am too poor liau. T_____________________T
They did and I quickly banked in the money to their account. So my PSP and Nano will arrive today.

I am very very very annoyed that I paid an extra 100 bucks for the PSP which I could have use to buy a 8GB Nano then I can choose colours. Apparently, to Apple, those ppl who are rich enough to buy a 4GB only are not entitled to have colours and shud stick to the boring silver.

Fark kiu la.

*************************

Now I know only very rich ppl or very stupid ppl will pay 75 dollars to buy per game. Normal ppl download the games from Internet. Ahhhh..

Any way, I joined this PSP Blender site which offers every games you can download for US$37. I am thinking of paying it straight away so I can start downloading them.

Then the DVD store behind Wetszone allows ppl to download the games at a price of 10 bucks for 3 games. I dun want to make the same mistakes agn. Damnit.


Edit: That's it!! I am never going to get anything from QQeStore anymore! Initially, the goods will arrive on Monday. Then they say Tues. And now they tell me it will only arrive in KB tomorrow.