It will get better from here on.

Hey peeps. As you know, Carlos left. And I was devastated. It hit me harder than I expected.

I thought I would be sad and all but like to cry 2 whole days for him? Never crossed my mind. Heck, I did not even cry 2 secs for Loong. F.

Last Sat night was his last shift. I finished earlier at 3.30am. I went down to B2 to say goodbye to him before I signed off. He came over to give me a hug and kiss. He held both my hands telling me to take care and hope that we see each other again. And blah blah blah all those farewell lines expected. I wanted to tell him so many things there and then but do not know where to start and besides Mary, Salv were all there.

I woke up on Sunday morning feeling exactly the same way I did when I just arrived in Sydney. A sense of emptiness at the pit of my guts and a huge weight on my heart.

Because I woke up knowing that he will not be in Westin anymore. He is not going to be there when I start my shift next time. There will be no one to take care of me anymore. No one to send me home if I'm sick. No one to tell me lame jokes. No one I can look forward to seeing anymore.

I cried the whole Sun and Mon. In addition, listening to Sarah MacLachlan's "Fallen" is not helping because I feel like she is singing about my exact situation. As of today, I am feeling better because I received an email from him last night, giving me his last advice.

The past 2 days I wished every minute to go back 10 months ago so that I'll appreciate him a lot more and maybe change things around. However, there is this voice inside telling me it's futile, that I should look forward to the future (i.e my studies and career) and treasure the past as memories. Memories that will help me grow as a person.

Hence, I stop. Thanks to this voice inside I hardly dwell on the past wishing to go back because it always tells me to look forward, not backwards. Good memories are there for a reason. That is to make you appreciate what you have right now.

Te quiero mucho.

*************

Besides, I cannot emo for too long a period. I got plenty of stuff to attend to. I just want this week to be over and done with. Westin is pretty quiet for the next month or so due to Easter so I'm working in Frasers now. This Sat, I start at 6am.

I got some pictures.

Here is one of the Sydney CBD at 7am. Took this at Circular Quay while waiting for the ferry to college.

Here is one of George St bus stop at 5.30am after work. Never in my Westin life have I worked until 5.30am in the morning. Gawd.
The bright Apple store. I love going in there and just play with all the Apple stuffs.
My fav things atm.

1) My Touch.
2) My box of colourful markers. Look how happy they are!!
3) My new brown bucket bag. Hello...how pretty is that!
4) My red planner. Which my sis bought for me (while I pointed a gun to her head). This is my life here. All my important events and homework are in there.
5) Dr. Jart Silver label BB cream. Can't live without this shit.

So yeah. That's about it. Things will get better from here on :)

Edit: Btw, I bought a dress online to wear for my ICMS Alumni Reunion Dinner function. It's peach coloured lace-y kinda dress. I lost the pic. Will take a pic once it arrive.