Me=Evil????

Warning: I AM NOT ano discriminating against or making fun of Christians.


I have come across many Christians. My friends and my cousins. My granmama and aunts and uncles.

They are always very enthusiastic about going to church, talking about Him and introducing new people to Him.
And their mindset are like so innocent. They don't gossip and they don't believe in the bad things like divorce and certain weird fetishes that people have. They always see the world in such a beautiful way. Like all the negatives can turn into positives if you just believe.

Sometimes when I hang out with them, I feel so evil. As if they are the ones wearing the white angelic robes with a shiny gold halo above their head. And me? In a slimy red dress with my cute lil red horns sticking out and whipping my tail on the floor in a SM manner. *shudders*

There have been plenty of times when someone tried to get me and my family into Christianity. We would go to Sunday school for one week just to 'give them face'. And the next Sun, we'll be still tucked in our warm comfy beds when everyone is in the church.

And whenever I go back to Kuching, every Sunday I have to wake up at 7-ish to accompany my granmama to church.
Also just to 'be filial'.
Try to convince myself by saying " Aiya...not like everyday you can visit ur granma in Kuching. Besides the church thing is only for 2 hours. Just go with her and quickly get it over and done with."
Whereas my cousin who's a Christian will be like " Ah Ma, I'll go with you!! I love church!! *claps happily and hops around*"

If you are the Ah Ma, definitely you'll sayang the cousin more la....


And the news on how He will be coming over to earth when the world is about to end. He'll bring all his followers to a better place aka Hea-ben. The rest of the people will just have to stay and wait for death.
I always have this disturbing vision of me begging Him to bring me as well shud the day ever come.
" Pwis take me wip you. I'll pwomis I'll be good and read the Bible aberyday."(while crying like a shithead)

Tsk, tsk, tsk.......*shakes head*
I reckon it'll be too late.....

I always have this sudden urge/desire to really believe in Him and wake up early early every Sun to go to church.
But when it comes Sun and the alarm ticking off at 7am, I'll be like " CB...oni 7am have to wake up meh????? I want to ano slp/watch CSI/go hiking/go swimming arh".

I can do all that but just dun have the energy to bring myself to the church. One very simple reason: I have no intention of doing it at all.

So I guess I'm on my own in this world. *plays Destiny's Child's 'Survivor'*

Yeah baby.....